Is time flying or is it more trudging along? The end is in sight on this term. Maybe now is a good time to stop and reflect. We might be tempted to reflect on how our school is doing, how our colleagues and our students are doing, and that's all important. But maybe now is a good time to think about ourselves, how are we doing? Like in the safety demos on aeroplanes, put on your oxygen mask before helping other people. If we don't look after ourselves, it's so much more difficult to take care of others.

“Managing in TEFL” is a fortnightly Companion for language school leaders, written by Simon Pearlman.

Shock absorbing

We're like shock-absorbers on cars, cushioning the jolts and bumps as we move forward. We absorb so many bumps along the road trying to make things work as well as possible for as many people as possible. Where do we absorb shocks from? From our bosses as they struggle with their own problems and might have lost touch with the classroom-based reality of the language school? From teachers who might be struggling or might be uncomfortable with certain aspects of the way the school is run? From parents and students who might be unhappy about their teacher, their class or their progress? And maybe also we absorb shocks from ourselves as we expect things to be better and blame ourselves for so much.

Where do the shocks come from that you absorb?

Perfect is the enemy of good

Nothing is perfect, it's simply impossible. If we aim for things to be perfect, we can only be disappointed. Being continually disappointed cannot be good for us or the people we work with, it can't be good for our mental health. So often good enough, is just that, good enough. Of course, let's shoot for more than good, let's go for wonderful or incredible, but let's be satisfied with good enough too. Maybe we can reflect on what around us is good enough without thinking about how to improve, it can be really liberating.

What in your life, in your work is good enough?

Detached engagement

So often we get really involved in things; we need to, it's our job, isn't it? Yes, and no. Yes, we need to engage, we need to fix problems and we need to care. But, do we need to take on the emotional burden too? Can we be engaged and totally in it and at separate from it, not so emotionally invested in it at the same time? We can do our best work if we're engaged and detached.

https://www.noomii.com/articles/5425-do-your-best-work-by-using-detached-engagement

The Eisenhower Matrix

There's just not enough hours in the day to do everything we need to, whether it's work or home, the to-do list just keeps growing. It feels like we never have time for everything. We need strategies to deal with the pressures as well as all those shocks we need to absorb. The Eisenhower Matrix, where we divide task depending on how important or urgente they are, is a great starting point. We can then think about which we need do now, which we can schedule for later, which we can delegate and which we can delete. It's also interesting to consider the biases can lead us astray.

https://thedecisionlab.com/reference-guide/management/the-eisenhower-matrix

How do you prioritise your to-do lists? How do your biases effect you?

Routines, habits and rituals

When we're considering priorities, one of those must be us. We must prioritise our well-being. We must check our own oxygen masks before we can help others.

What can we do to look after ourselves? We can eat well, sleep well and excerise, of course. We also need to enjoy life too, we need to priotise fun and friends. We need to create and maintain good habits which can smoothly become part of our daily routines. Routines can be become rituals, they can be filled with meaning for us too.

https://gettingresults.com/habits-routines-and-rituals

Wintering well?

Many of us in Europe are getting into winter and getting into cosiness of big socks, woolly jumpers and warming soups and stews. Some animals hibernate through the winter cold, we don't, instead we need to look after ourselves even more. In her book “Wintering”, Katherine May talks about moving through the difficulties and how to nourish ourselves and our souls. If you scroll down the page, you'll find some fabulous podcasts too.

https://katherine-may.co.uk/wintering

So, before we get the Christmas decorations out (if that's your thing), before we contemplate end of term reports, let's take some time to check in with ourselves. How are we doing?

We'd love to hear your thoughts and responses to this here in the comments. Also please do email us if there's anything here you'd like to discuss further.

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